Sunday, August 30, 2009

It Sucks to Be You

It struck me this past weekend that it sucks to be the one that no wants to be. (I know I'm a little old to be using the word "suck" but it just fits my mood at the moment) It must completely suck to be sitting there in front of tons of people knowing that every single person in that room is thankful that they are not in your shoes.

I think we've all done it. Haven't you ever looked at an overweight person and thought.. "Glad I'm not fat like that" even though you might be but are just in denial or even though you know we shouldn't set view people by such shallow standards set by society. Or at someone who's being a total bitch and think "wow, glad I'm not bitchy like that". Maybe you really are, maybe they're having a bad day. Or at someone with a special needs child and thought, "I'm thankful my child was born healthy" even though you know that special needs children are truly special and that'd you'd love your child anyways but still.. you're thankful.

Or maybe at a mom whose child was just killed in a tragic accident and think "I'm so glad that's not me."

Can you imagine what it must be like knowing that people around you are hugging their kids and thanking God that they still have their kids, that their grief for you is mixed with a sense of relief for themselves. That no one in that room would trade shoes with you even for just one day.

We pass random judgments about people constantly throughout the day. We all do it. Just some of us recognize it and work to be a better person. You could even say it's human nature and you could say that it's a good thing we are thankful that we're not in her shoes because hopefully it makes us appreciate what we've got more.

Still.... it must really suck.

(If any of you are popping in for the first time, a friend of mine lost her child this past week, the funeral was on Saturday and while this post may be blunt, it's just random thoughts that have been running through my head. Please don't take offence. If you can honestly tell me that you've never dissed someone based on looks, appearance, lifestyle, personality, fashion, life choices, life circumstances.. then by all means be offended cause apparently you are perfect.)


  1. I'm not a religious person nor am I judgemental person. Everytime I pass a person who has something wrong with them, or I see a handicapped child or hear about a sad situation, I think...

    There but for the grace of god, go I.

    You just never koow...

  2. I pray that won't ever be me (who it sucks to be, that is!)!!!

  3. This is a wonderful post. I try so hard to not judge. You are so right...someone may not be a bitch, maybe they're having a bad day. And I have a child with special needs and I would never want anyone to feel sorry for me... but I would love it if you would hold the door open for me while I carry her way-too-big-for-me-to-carry body!! :)

    I'm so sorry for your friend...and for you. I don't think there is anything worse.

  4. Wonderful post. Because you're so right. We're so glad to have what we have. All those poeple were sp glad it wasn't their child, which is great. But it must hurt so bad for your friend.
    Sending my prayers for her and her family and you and your family.

  5. One of my best friends lost a friend to cancer in college. A couple days after the funeral, she ran into the mom at the store, and said that more than anything, it reminded her that you just never knows what someone else is going through, so why not always be nice. Her mom was just in the store, buying something, like everyone else, but buried her daughter only a few days before.
    I'm sorry for your friend's loss. that is truly tragic for a parent to bury a child.

  6. I really like this post and I think it is human nature to have those thoughts. They should however be examined.

  7. This is such an honest post. I love it.

  8. What a sincere post Zeemaid. We are all guilty of it. I had a boyfriend a long time ago and his mother would always say "You never know what's going on with so-and-so" I try to remember that. That's probably the only positive thing I got out of that relationship! Ha!


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