Thursday, January 22, 2009

Death to Self

Death to Self.  I've been turning this phrase over in my mind today. 

That's what it takes to raise good kids these days. We have to lay aside all our own wants needs and desires and put them first.   Which, of course, we all do to some extent.  I would hope that all of us would put our kids first when it comes to making sure they are fed well and cared for properly.  But it's so much more than that. 

It means getting down on the floor and barking like a dog when what I really want to do is finish off the last chapter of my novel.  

It means, giving up that last bite of cookie because I have three eager faces drooling over it.  It means getting up for the fify millioneth time to get someone a drink.  

It means packing them all up and taking them to the swimming pool where I will have to wear a bathing suit (EGAD) and get wet and cold and shiver while I get THEM changed first and then have them impatiently pull on me while I try to change when I'd rather be at the mall looking for good bargains.  (I absolutely hate standing in a wet suit in a cold changing room trying to dress and undress kids). 

It means letting them do crafts and not getting uptight about the mess.  

It means stopping yourself and taking a big breath before you start to discipline when your first instinct is to yell. 

It means worrying about their emotional wellbeing and not just their physical being. 

There is no doubt about it that lately I've been struggling with this.  It's easy to put off the kids when you are tired and grumpy. I keep thinking if only O would let me get a decent night sleep or if only my mood was better or I didn't have that headache.  

All I can say is that Thank God tomorrow is a new day because then I get to try again and hopefully with His Grace, do better. 


1 comment:

  1. Thanks for your honesty. Funny that I was feeling the same way lately and I think it is a universal feeling for most stay-at-home Mom's. When we do the same thing day in and day out it can be overwhelming. I just think most Mommies don't like to admit it. That's why I was happy to find your blog and realize that I am just going through what most of us do and that tomorrow is a new day. Thanks again. I look forward to reading in the future!


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